You’ll find this blog helpful if you already, or are about to, look after an elder relative or friend.

Even if you just ‘pop in’ from time to time.

Still with me?  Then let’s do introductions…

Maud and Mum on holiday.
Maud and Mum on holiday in 2001.  Marj (on right) looking fab.

Maud is… the name my oldest friends gave me about 20 years ago (I also go by the name of Grandma Bonkers, but that’s another story). I am a ‘primary’ carer who has always worked full time and ‘slipped’ (what is the right term?) into a caring role as we often do. Like many other carers, I am also an enthusiastic wife, mum, step mum, step grandma, daughter, aunt and sister.  I live in west Buckinghamshire.

Mum is… in fact my mother-in-law Marj.  Marj was born, raised, married and worked in ‘the Potteries’ (Stoke on Trent).  With her husband Jack, they raised a son and a daughter. In her spare time she painted with oils and loved walking her dog Sally, an indulged retriever cross.

After being widowed 12 years before, Marj started to need support more and more frequently.  So Marj sold her house and joined my family and I in her own annexed studio flat.  Marj has since lived with us for over seven years.

Marj was diagnosed with mixed vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease five years ago and nowadays has help from care workers and I throughout the day and night.

Our intention in writing this blog is to share what we’ve learned over the years.  Working full time, I (Maud) couldn’t easily find the information, perspective and help that could have prepared and helped us.  In fact I was (and still am) often bewildered and frustrated by the care ‘system’.

I hope to make things a heck of a lot easier for you.  I’ll share the essentials and the things not to worry about, the cheats and the pathways to support.  I particularly want to share the good times, as too often in the news caring, carers and the cared for are not presented positively.

And finally, I’m still learning, so I’d also love to hear from you too.

If you’re caring for a partner, considering bringing a parent or other senior into your home or if your ‘remote’ caring responsibilities are increasing and you want to know what might come next, I hope you will find this blog helpful, love


PS All views are our own unless otherwise stated.  Not for profit, we’re not paid for anything we write.