carer carers elder ageing Buckinghamshire bucks Maud Mum
Maud on left and Mum (In Law) on right.

Carer support found here ⬇

Helpful stuff for those who already, or are about to, look after an elder relative or friend.

Even if you just ‘pop in’ to see them from time to time.

Still with me?  Then let’s do introductions…

Maud is… the name my oldest friends gave me about 20 years ago (I also go by the name of Grandma Bonkers, but that’s another story). I’ve always worked full time yet have also ‘acquired’ (what is the right term?) the additional carer role, as many of us do. Like other carers, I’m also an enthusiastic wife, mum, step mum, step grandma, daughter, aunt and sister.  I live in west Bucks.

Mum is… in fact my mother-in-law Marj.  Marj was born, raised, married, worked and lived in ‘the Potteries’ (Stoke on Trent) her whole life.  With her husband Jack, she raised a son and a daughter. In her spare time she painted and loved walking her dog Sally, an indulged retriever cross.

Despite living independently since her Jack died, Marj started to need support.  So Marj sold her house and joined my family and I in her own annexed rooms (see post ‘moving in together‘).

A mixed vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis means nowadays Marj has increasing hands-on help from care workers and I throughout the day and night.

Marj has lived with us for over eight years. Our intention in writing this blog is to share what we’ve learned over the years. Working full time, I (Maud) couldn’t easily find the information, perspective and help that could have prepared and helped us.  In fact I was (and still am) often bewildered and frustrated by the care ‘system’.

There’s no formal training for this carer role you find yourself in and you probably didn’t apply for the job either.  I hope to make things a heck of a lot easier for you.  I’ll share the essentials and the things not to worry about, the pathways and short-cuts to support.  My intention is constructive, as too often in the news caring, carers and the cared for are not presented positively.

And finally, I’m still learning, so I’d love to hear from you too.

Are you a carer for your partner? Considering bringing a parent or other senior into your home? If your ‘remote’ carer responsibilities are increasing and you want to know what might come next and where to find help, I hope you find this blog helpful. Click here for all blog posts (most recent at top) or on contents to search faster by topic.



PS All views are our own unless otherwise stated.  Not for profit, we’re not paid for anything we write.

carer carers elder ageing Buckinghamshire bucks Maud Mum
Maud and Mum on holiday in 2001.

Supported by

Buckinghamshire Council [Blue]