ladies wearing love heart hats
Maud on left and Mum (In Law) on right.

You’ll find this blog packed with helpful stuff – if you already, or are about to, look after an elder relative or friend.

Even if you just ‘pop in’ to see them from time to time.

Still with me?  Then let’s do introductions…

Maud is… the name my oldest friends gave me about 20 years ago (I also go by the name of Grandma Bonkers, but that’s another story). I’ve always worked full time yet have also ‘acquired’ (what is the right term?) an additional primary caring role, as many of us do. Like many other carers, I’m also an enthusiastic wife, mum, step mum, step grandma, daughter, aunt and sister.  I live in west Bucks.

Mum is… in fact my mother-in-law Marj.  Marj was born, raised, married, worked and lived in ‘the Potteries’ (Stoke on Trent) her whole life.  With her husband Jack, she raised a son and a daughter. In her spare time she painted and loved walking her dog Sally, an indulged retriever cross.

Despite living independently since her Jack died, Marj started to need support.  So Marj sold her house and joined my family and I in her own annexed rooms (see post ‘moving in together‘).

A subsequent diagnosis of mixed vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease means nowadays Marj has increasing hands-on help from care workers and I throughout the day and night.

Marj has lived with us for over eight years. Our intention in writing this blog is to share what we’ve learned over the years. Working full time, I (Maud) couldn’t easily find the information, perspective and help that could have prepared and helped us.  In fact I was (and still am) often bewildered and frustrated by the care ‘system’.

I bet that like me, you’ve had no training for this new role and you probably didn’t apply for the job either.  I hope to make things a heck of a lot easier for you.  I’ll share the essentials and the things not to worry about, the pathways and short-cuts to support.  My intention is constructive, as too often in the news caring, carers and the cared for are not presented positively.

And finally, I’m still learning, so I’d love to hear from you too.

If you’re caring for a partner, considering bringing a parent or other senior into your home or if your ‘remote’ caring responsibilities are increasing and you want to know what might come next and where to find help, I hope you find this blog helpful.

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PS All views are our own unless otherwise stated.  Not for profit, we’re not paid for anything we write.

Maud and Mum on holiday.
Maud and Mum on holiday in 2001.