carer carers elder ageing Buckinghamshire bucks Maud Mum
Maud on left and Mum (-in-Law) on right.

Help for you, if you look after an elder relative or friend.

Still with me?

Then let’s do introductions…

Maud is… the name my oldest friends gave me about 20 years ago. I’ve always worked full time and also ‘acquired’ (what is the right term?) an additional carer role 10 years ago, as many of us do. Like other carers, I’m also an enthusiastic wife, mum, step mum, step grandma, daughter, aunt and sister.  I live in west Bucks in the UK.

Mum is… my mother-in-law Marj.  Marj was born, raised, married, worked and lived in ‘the Potteries’ (Stoke on Trent) her whole life.  With her husband Jack, she raised a son and a daughter. Despite living independently since Jack died, Marj started to need support.  So Marj sold her house and joined my family and I in an annex we built onto our house (see ‘moving in together‘).

Marj has lived with us for over ten years now. A mixed vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis means nowadays Marj needs intense hands-on help from care workers and us throughout the day and night.

My intention is to share what we’ve learned, because we couldn’t easily find the information, perspective and help that could have prepared us all.  In fact I was (and still am) often bewildered and frustrated by the care ‘system’.

There’s no formal training for this new carer role you find yourself in and you probably didn’t apply for the job either.  I hope to make things a heck of a lot easier for you.  I’ll share the essentials and the things not to worry about, the pathways and short-cuts to support.  My intention is constructive, as too often in the news caring, carers and the cared for are not presented positively. I hope the practical, financial and emotional support shared here means more time for fun, even in post Covid-times.

Finally, we’re still learning, so we’d love to hear from you and other carers too.

If your close or ‘remote’ carer responsibilities are increasing and you want to know what might come next and where to find help, click here for all blog posts (most recent at top) or on contents to search faster by topic. You can sign up for monthly-ish updates at the bottom of any page. The Carers versus Covid page pulls together all the information you need right now and you can also follow us @maudandmum too.



PS All views are our own unless otherwise stated.  Not for profit, we’re not paid for anything we write.

carer carers elder ageing Buckinghamshire bucks Maud Mum
Maud and Mum on holiday in 2001.

Supported by

Buckinghamshire Council [Blue]