Here are my style tips for the stylish person who should find themselves needing extra care support…
Footwear
Most important of all the style tips is what you wear on your feet. However gorgeous, slippers are not a good idea for anyone vulnerable to falls, whether standing (aka weight-bearing) or walking. Instead, you need ‘slippers’ that are like shoes, that fit well, have good heel support and rigid non-slip soles. In fact, your ‘slippers’ have to be so shoe-like (to prevent a fall), you may as well do as Marj does and wear actual shoes inside. Shoes helped Marj stand up far more confidently and securely than any kind of slipper.
After experimenting over the years, Marj’s shoe choice was Clarks (search ’Mary Jane’). They’re smart, light and comfortable with black cotton socks. Just as importantly I found them easy to whip on and off too. No one wants to be wrestling with feet.
For men, I’d try a velcro/rip tape fastening ‘athleisure’ type shoe from Clarks again. In my experience, ‘slip-on’ styles don’t tend to slip on and off that easily for the carer. Hotter and Cosyfeet make shoes that may be suitable too, the most important thing is that they fit and support the whole foot and ankle well.
Tip from Peter, a reader – ‘We have used Clark’s Hotter and Cosyfeet for shoes. As J wears an orthotic brace to support her weak leg she requires a different shoe size on each foot. Only available at their outlet in Street (not mail order) but Cosyfeet do odd sizes for a supplement of £10. I think Clarks’ will do that but much more expensive.’
Underwear
Comfy knickers are important, but you may start to find that continence pants are more convenient (I cover these in continence support). As for bras (if you choose to wear one, no pressure), we found it essential to get re-measured. Much as we may deny it, our size changes over time and bras start digging in. M&S has a very good bra fitting service and produced some non-underwired bras that were pretty and comfortable.
Baselayers
Marj wore a fresh cotton t-shirt every day. She changed into it in the morning and kept it on when sleeping at night. This stopped her from feeling chilly while changing into her pyjamas.
We used M&S for pretty much all of Marj’s clothing because it’s a ‘one-stop shop’. Easy home ordering & exchange is helpful because I always seemed to be ordering school uniform at the same time. Other stores are available!
Tops
Then it’s usually a sweater of some sort. Sweaters needn’t be frumpy. This item was the most expressive of Marj’s style. They must be crew neck (roll necks are too fussy, v necks too revealing or chilly). If I should buy anything that made her feel too ‘old lady-ish’ (or with stripes) she would reject it. Quite so. Marj loved sequins and sparkle.
Marj’s favourite colour was light blue so I always tried to have at least one or two sweaters that colour, also coral, turquoise, red, navy and black looked fab on Marj. Stronger colours tend to look best on us all as we age. The greige or pastels that many stores prescribe in their ‘classic’ ranges tended to wash Marj out.
Viewing colours and styles on the iPad or ordering a couple of options allowed Marj to choose. Marj used to love going shopping and we had fun with the shopmobility wheelchair.
In terms of functionality and style tips, I’d advise top lengths no longer than hip-length, otherwise fabric falls in the loo. Wool/wool mix and cotton/cotton mix are best for warmth and breathability. Fleece fabrics are great for when it’s very cold and are easy to wash and dry too.
A favourite blanket over the lap or a chunky cardigan or wrap is useful on top of a sweater on colder days.
Trousers
We depend on the M&S for their ‘short’ inside leg option, comfortable, hard-wearing trousers in a variety of colours. I’ve learned that trousers with an elasticated waist are best for quick and easy pulling on and off, important when legs are unsteady.
Dresses and jackets
Dresses and jackets tend to be for special occasions. Style tips? My advice would be to size up for a dress and down for the accompanying jacket if in a wheelchair. That way you sit comfortably, yet the jacket looks more tailored/chic. Three-quarter sleeves prevent the fabric from swamping the wearer and shows off favourite jewellery or a manicure.
Pyjamas
Marj wore pyjamas over her t-shirt, cotton PJs in summer and fleece in winter and always wore bed socks as her feet tended to get cold. We had microwaveable bed socks that gave and retained heat because Marj got chilly quickly.
Looking good all day long
At mealtimes, Marj clipped a tea towel around her neck to keep her clothes clean. It felt nicer than any sort of ‘bib’ and was more secure than a napkin.
Saving money
Sign up to retailer websites or newsletters before you buy if you can since they tend to send you a discount code if you don’t buy anything immediately or offer a discount to encourage you to sign up to emails. Use seasonal sales or offers to replenish worn or shrunken items and drop hints to relatives before Christmas and birthdays.
Work it
I know I’ve offered more conventional style tips than the opening photography may have suggested. However, there’s nothing stopping anyone from working a stronger look. Here are some awesome role models.
One great thing about ageing is that people expect a little eccentricity so one should care a little less about what other people think. However physically ‘able’ you are, elder or carer, my last style tip is express yourself* and dress to be YOU. Charity shops and eBay can be a sustainable place to start too.
*Madonna, 1989
