Sharing the history, passions, interests and preferences of the person being cared for is good for families and other helpers. It helps us see the individual not the ‘condition’…
I’d wondered how to record more of Marj’s life so that her family and those who support her know a bit more about her. We knew some stories between us, but not all.
I bought Marj a journal which, page by page, prompted her to think about and record her thoughts and experiences. However, she either didn’t get around to it or didn’t want to. To be honest, I have failed to prioritise my own journaling ambitions, so I can understand.
Serendipity lends a hand
I rediscovered the journaI and wondered if I could use it differently.
Around the same time, I found a research paper* that suggested that a daily 10 minute chat improves the quality of life for people living with dementia. This makes sense, since loneliness is also widely reported as detrimental to both mental and physical health, see slowing or even avoiding dementia. However, sometimes what to talk about can be a challenge. It struck me that asking Marj a question a day could be a great way of engaging and reminiscing. I could note down her thoughts on the journal pages too.
The next day, as Marj and I chatted over a hot chocolate and a home manicure, I asked her the first question – about her life as a young girl, how she felt then and looking back. Times were tough for her and many others in the Potteries in the ’30s and ’40s. Marj was happy that those days were behind her.
From then on, when Marj was inclined towards a longer chat, I’d ask her about a facet of her life and record them in her book. Something you may like to try.
